Cow Children
Great Big Expectations!

Great Big Expectations!

October 11, 2021

Welcome to Ms. Havisham's house of fun and oblivion! Which would you choose, and which will tempt Fil? Can she find delight in the West's first 'computer game', or leap into the eternal purgatory of the Black Darkness?

A stand-alone audio adventure, colourfully revivifying Dickens's non-Western classic. Great Big Expectations was written and directed by Ben Swithen. Starring Hannah Goudie-Hunter as Fil and Sandra Baker Donnelly as Ms Havisham, with Charlotte Creasey as Beatrice Pocket, Sarah and Angus Goudie as the Joes and Tim Packer as Pumblechook.

 

cw: threats of violence, despair, family strife, imprisonment and furries

2.10 - Wackless Races!

2.10 - Wackless Races!

February 16, 2021

It's Pancake Day! This year's pancake race has a fantastic prize: the winner can commit one murder, free of consequences!

 

Wackless Races, by Ben Swithen. A stand-alone audio adventure - though with a number of returning characters.

With Charlotte Creasey as Barabashkin Cowhaver, Tom Hagley and Ben Swithen as Trevor and Scott, Jazz Chatfield as Tato, Moya O’Rourke as Rowan McGowan, Dylan Reid Miller as August Sol, and Stuart Dunlop as Mayor Jeffers.

 

cw: cars, death, gunshots, explosions, cartoon violence, discussion of euthanasia

2.09 - The Bachelor Affair!

2.09 - The Bachelor Affair!

February 2, 2021

Bachelors are going missing! Skunk Boy and Franklin Marter pose as bachelors, and enter the trap! What will be left of Skunk Boy when his identity and his odour are stripped away?

 

An audio adventure by Ben Swithen, starring Steve Allen and Fey Sunflower, with Chris Mowat, Tim Packer, Stuart Bryant, Charlotte Creasey and Michael Friend.

 

The characters Franklin Marter and Skunk Boy previously appeared in 'Skunk Boy and Lothario'. This is their second adventure together, but this tale can be enjoyed as a stand-alone.

 

cw: murder, brainwashing, action violence, gunshots, broken glass

2.08 - Frog Consequences

2.08 - Frog Consequences

January 19, 2021

It's the Children's Chess Championship! Time for Davie Bandero to prove he's more than just muscle. Time for Fennel to learn the difference between friends and enemies. Choose wrong, and it's frog consequences!

 

A stand-alone audio adventure set in the endless and infinite West. This is part of a linked series of tales known as Cow Children. The characters of Fennel and Ross previously appeared in 'Baseball Boy: The Musical' and 'The Laird of MacGuyver', but you don't need to know that really.

cw: unjust imprisonment, mild swearing, puberty, non-binarism, bees

2.07 - The Good Man Joseph and the Horrible Myrrh

2.07 - The Good Man Joseph and the Horrible Myrrh

December 22, 2020

It's Nativity o'clock! Joseph gets an unexpected chance at fatherhood. But how can you parent a Christ?

Unlike most nativities, in which Jesus doesn't do anything, this Biblical adventure keeps rolling to give us the full Joseph story!

Starring Eliah Ward as Joseph and Hannah Goudie-Hunter as Mary, with Fey Sunflower as Jesus of Nazareth.

cw: babies, singing, Christmas, crying, crucifixion, death, mild swearing, and a happy ending

 

2.06 - The Jilts

2.06 - The Jilts

December 1, 2020

Two jilted brides take a trip to the brewery at Lemlie Corn. But the brewery is dark, violent, as tall as the sky - and haunted by a goose with a golden beak!

A stand-alone audio adventure in the wide and infinite and (on this occasion) very tall land of The West.

The Jilts, by Ben Swithen, starring Charlotte Creasey as Daisy and Josie Hypatia Grounds as Karen, with Tom King as Bluejack at Marielle Evans as Goosinder.

cw: skeletons!

2.05 - Beach Children: the Beach Boys story

2.05 - Beach Children: the Beach Boys story

November 3, 2020

The audio adventures of Mike Love's Beach Boys! Can the band prosper in the face of bad dads, literal murderers, master manipulators and an enemy within? Actually no!

An audio biopic of Mike Love, Brian Wilson and the glorious others, with Dylan Reid Miller, Ben Swithen, Jonathan Higgs, Beepsalt, Candy Anderson and several several more!

cw: death, murder, anger, blackmail, drowning, assassination, terrorism, Charles Manson, family deaths, Donald Trump

2.04 - Sinbad Tries His Best

2.04 - Sinbad Tries His Best

October 13, 2020

Sinbad's loneliness is punctured by invaders, intruders, monsters, manslaughter and guns! Will a new puppet bring calm to the cursèd city, or bring destruction to life as we know it?

Sinbad Tries His Best, an audio play by Ben Swithen, with Tristan Lánstad as Sinbad, and the voices of Agnes Henson, Spleeny Dotson, Tom King, Steve Allen, Little Jeremey and Natalie Ashton

2.03 - The Gelato Havers

2.03 - The Gelato Havers

September 29, 2020

The Gelato Havers are coming for Don Gelato! But the Don renounced gelato and turned to iced cream long ago. Can she stop the rustlers? No.

With Sandra Baker Donnelly as Donatello, Ben Swithen as Remy, Chris Mowat as Dabney and Sean Morley as Gantry #9

 

cw: death, guns, romance

2.02 - The Laird of MacGyver

2.02 - The Laird of MacGyver

September 15, 2020

Fennel is the Laird of MacGyver! An ancient artefact has declared it! But what is a laird, what evils lurk in the chimneys, and whatever became of Lady Roxanne?

 

A stand-alone audio-adventure set in mysterious North of the dangerous West. With Ben Swithen as Fennel, Deanna MF Midnight as Lal Tarrant, Tim Packer as MacTeon the Hunter, Natalie Ashton as Diana Corsair and Hannah Goudie-Hunter as Mrs Mandelenian.

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